On My Instagram Account , I recently made a post that briefly spoke about children being mean to their Moms:
…As expected, as a public blogger, I got some interesting feedback. However, there was one comment that stood out:
“Just wait until they get older! 😂“
I cannot comprehend this response. This is the favourite response of so many women, when another woman is feeling defeated.
“I’m so pregnant I can’t sleep”
“Oh just wait until the baby is here, then you’ll know ‘no sleep'”
“I’m pregnant with baby #2 and I’m starting to wonder how I will juggle it all”
“Two kids, and two hands! Three kids is when it gets hard!”
“Oh no, my baby can crawl- I seriously need to baby proof everything!”
“You think he gets into everything now, just wait until he can walk!”
“The ‘terrible twos’ are completely draining me”
“Twos are nothing- wait until he’s three!”
“It’s like she turned 8 and got this serious attitude problem, I don’t know what to do with her anymore”
“Oh trust me, just wait until she’s a teenager, that’s when she’ll get a real attitude!”
Are you seeing the trend here?
Why on earth is it so natural to women to hear another woman’s struggle and tell them it will only get worse?
It’s time for women to be more aware of this. When a fellow Mom is complaining/explaining/commenting on her current struggle, PLEASE for the love of God recognize her struggle. Acknowledge her struggle. Relate to her struggle. And do not do not do NOT defeat her, one-up her, by telling her that she hasn’t even began the hard stuff yet.
I have wracked my brain and thought about this from every angle… and I have compiled a small list of truly the only reasons for women to reply to other women like this:
1) They are miserable. They hear that someone else is having a hard time and jump for joy, and rub it in that they are not alone.
2) They are determined to push the struggling woman over the edge. They hear her upset, see her struggle and think “hmm, how could I make this just a little worse for her?… oh right! I can tell her that things will never get better, infact they’ll get worse!”
3) They are rude, mean people and just want to laugh at and hurt someone.
4) They are actually completely clueless that they are doing this, are going to read this article and become a lot more aware of it, and learn to support fellow moms, instead of bringing them down.
Here’s the thing, sometimes it’s true! Sometimes when you hear someone complaining about a current situation, you truly know that it is going to get worse for them. But you know what else is true? That motherhood can be totally different for each woman. That somethings that are easy for you, are difficult for someone else… that every mother and every child is completely different, and truly it’s impossible to compare!
… please, next time a Mom confides in you that she is having a hard time, Tell her it will be okay, tell her you understand, tell her it will get easier … even if you have to lie.